obsession of the day

today i actually did my reading— that’s a lie…...

Thu, 21 Apr 2011 01:13:55 -0400

today i actually did my reading— that’s a lie… *was doing but then felt the need to maybe tumbl about it half way through. so this is why i needed to stop. this week in my eastern asian culture studies class we’re focusing on the making of modern japanese womanhood. so i’ve been watching these films and doing all this reading about prostitution in the early 1900’s and stuff, which is definitely interesting/terrifying. and i’m thinking to myself. okay i get the point. instead of tesserae the japanese just sold their daughters to brothels to feed their families.

then i read this essay written in 1911 by a japanese feminist Hiratsuka Raicho, called “the seito manifesto: in the beginning, woman was the sun” and being not so feminist myself i thought “here we go again” expecting yet another liberal rant about sexism, and equality, and justice and bla bla bla.

instead i got rather inspired. i think some of the deeper meaning is lost in translation, but basically she speaks of women’s liberation not so much as a vast social movement but instead through a lens of individual enlightenment. she says women are people of “hidden Genius”, referring to “the farthest recesses of the human consciousness, discernible only in the depths of meditation”. at this point i still wasn’t really sold either, and even the moon vs. sun analogy didn’t win me over. and we all know how much i love thinking in terms of figurative language.

it wasn’t until she referenced rodin that i was struck with inspiration. “Rodin, who possesses an ever-present source of inspiration at his command, is, it must be said, one who truly holds the one and only key to becoming a genius” and i just really like all the rest that follows. she talks about how Rodin and his sculptures and thinking about his constant state of inspiration constantly inspires her. and she just gets so excited she can hardly express how STOKED she is on rodin and next thing you know she’s fantasizing about hanging out with him, and “playing the music of nature, that music of Nature’s lost harmony” and i’m on the other side of it a century later literally feeling exactly what she meant. and what she felt mixed with the overall… coolness of feeling it a hundred years later and well. it’s hard to explain but it’s definitely an obsession of the day, and if you’re craving a little intellectual stimulation, you should check it out and find your hidden sun. :)

so today i became overwhelmed with the expectations my global...

Thu, 14 Apr 2011 20:38:51 -0400

so today i became overwhelmed with the expectations my global studies professor has for me— they are very very high. and that scares me because, well i want to do well on the midterm of course, but i’d also really like to be a global studies major. unfortunately this intro class is starting to make me think that i’m not… well… global enough for that.

so, instead of cracking down and studying, i’ve decided i’m just gonna sit on my bed and read for a little inspiration. haven’t finished this book yet, but if louis knew i was feeling defeated over a silly little midterm he’d probably spit on my face. this guy lived through literally everything. just one of those “i will get through this” spirits… not the, “man this is tough but i’ll pull though, i guess” kind… the kind without questioning, simply knowing, no matter what (even when i’m being shot at from above by a japanese bomber and attacked by sharks from below after spending weeks lost at sea with absolutely nothing but a raft and two other guys to take care of) i’ll get through this.

definitely an admirable man, and although i don’t think i’ll ever possess the ability to accomplish something without questioning myself first, stories like this inspire me to believe in myself a little bit more, because in the end getting things done is all about the right mindset.

How Mad Are You?

Fri, 08 Apr 2011 03:23:00 -0400

How Mad Are You?:

just a little documentary emily and i watched tonight which exploits the common misunderstandings of mental diseases. 10 people, 5 with mental disorders, 5 without. can expert psychiatrists distinguish between the two after a week of experimentation and observation? SPOILER ALERT: the diagnoses aren’t exactly spot on.

the stuff that makes the pain go away. sometimes bad stuff...

Thu, 07 Apr 2011 01:03:50 -0400

the stuff that makes the pain go away.

sometimes bad stuff happens. most of the time, bad stuff happening is just a usual thing happening, but with a little unexpected, negative twist, just for you. i mean everyone rides their bikes in isla vista, and everyone knows that bikes trump both pedestrians and cars in the battle for the right of way. every biker also knows that there is risk associated with assuming everyone else will follow this unwritten law as well.

i would be the one to be made an example of— the one who gets hit by a car.

so yeah, this is real life. today i was struck by a vehicle. and that kinda thing can really get you thinking.

we all take risks right? i mean we have to. and on some level we all understand the risks we’re taking, however that level doesn’t quite measure up to that of reality.

i totally get that people get hit by cars. in a “haha let’s listen to dane cook talk about how fun it is to watch people get hit by cars!” kinda way. who hasn’t cracked a hit-by-a-car joke in their lifetime? i also understand it in a this happens to real life people and can be really traumatizing way.. but i never understood it in a this happened to me way. it’s a lot different.

and it’s that caught off guard concept that makes it scary. things can be good and fine and then BAM (literally) everything could change. and you didn’t think it was gonna be you. and you didn’t even consider how much it was gonna hurt. you made all of those jokes, and sure you knew it was real and you knew there was this potential. but seriously, you didn’t know that you could be so startled by your own reaction to something when it became reality. it’s scary to hear yourself screaming.

the nice thing is that, at least in my case, plenty of spectators wanted to help me. the girl who hit me drove me home. some random guy helped me to her car. another girl fixed my bike and rode it all the way back to the dorms. that was really really nice, and i don’t think there’s anyone who’s a bigger fan of random acts of kindness than i am. those people made me feel like even though something really painful just happened, there was enough good in the hearts of others to make things okay.

but even though that was so so nice of them, it didn’t make the pain go away. that’s where the advil comes in. the stuff you can keep taking no matter how long it hurts… even if it just helps for a portion of the day, and you know that the pain isn’t really gone it’s just subdued for a while, that’s better than nothing. only time can permanently heal you. and for the inbetween you just have to keep poppin’ the advil. aka the sunshine, the beach, the trip to england that will commence in june, good friends, and lots of other little things that can take your mind off of what hurts inside. just until it heals itself with time.

over and over and over. funny how music fixes things. it’s...

Wed, 06 Apr 2011 02:03:23 -0400

over and over and over. funny how music fixes things. it’s kinda like the answer at the back of the book. you’re not sure if what you think is right, so before you write it down (even if you’re writing in pencil, erasing is ugly) you just need that affirmation, for security reasons.

Break up cakes, bright colored clothing, golden retriever heads,...

Mon, 04 Apr 2011 17:58:00 -0400

Break up cakes, bright colored clothing, golden retriever heads, inquiring/happy-to-see-you-there-able-to-open-the-door-for-me-ers, and REALLY good friends.

Always the perfect vacation. Nothing like the vastness of Lake...

Sun, 27 Mar 2011 07:52:18 -0400

Always the perfect vacation. Nothing like the vastness of Lake Mead to set your mind free. All it takes is a long boat ride in the sun to feel all figured out and ready to start again. Today’s obsession: nature induced streams of consciousness.

today is tie dye day :) arts and crafts however, is a life-long...

Fri, 25 Mar 2011 19:00:24 -0400

today is tie dye day :) arts and crafts however, is a life-long obsession. and cookies just run in the family.

yay for cute shoes and spring recruitment. :) even though...

Thu, 24 Mar 2011 19:00:00 -0400

yay for cute shoes and spring recruitment. :) even though everybody in the world knows that i hate heels, who could hate these adorable little guys? guess that goes to show that things can change, just have to find a cute enough pair of shoes.. or two.

a bit of a guilty pleasure maybe? as guilty as it may be i have...

Thu, 24 Mar 2011 14:59:24 -0400

a bit of a guilty pleasure maybe? as guilty as it may be i have to admit that a very sizable portion of my spring break has been devoted to the CRU greek life. the question always asked is, “do you watch it just because you’re in a sorority?” and if you’re curious the answer is no; i started watching it because it was available on Netflix, and i continued to watch it because of its enticing plot lines that no one who has ever watched the show can deny.

"Because nerds like us are allowed to be unironically enthusiastic about stuff. Nerds are allowed to..."

Thu, 24 Mar 2011 06:13:55 -0400

“Because nerds like us are allowed to be unironically enthusiastic about stuff. Nerds are allowed to love stuff, like, jump-up-and-down-in-your-chair-can’t-control-yourself love it. When people call people nerds, mostly what they’re saying is ‘You like stuff’. Which is not a good insult at all. Like, ‘You are too enthusiastic about the miracle of human consciousness’”

- John Green

Kinetic Muzik

Thu, 24 Mar 2011 06:13:10 -0400

Kinetic Muzik:

if you happened to read my about, this would be the music blog that inspired me to start a blog of my own. also if you happened to read my about, and you liked it, check out kineticmuzik’s about… i wrote that one too :)

ABOUT

Thu, 24 Mar 2011 06:12:10 -0400

hi i go to ucsb. it’s spring break, and at the end of this week i’ll be entering the last quarter of my first year as a college student. at this point if someone asked me what college was about, i’d say it has something to do with embracing youth, testing boundaries, kindling interests and pursuing curiosities— basically just a little four year hybrid of having fun and finding oneself. however at this point, i’d have to say i’ve spent more time having fun than figuring out what i want to do with the life that will inevitably fall into my lap after graduation.
luckily this slight imbalance in priorities has led to the development of a really great group of friends, one in particular being my boyfriend. long story short, he runs this music blog, and it makes me really happy to see his passion take form. and i’m like hey, i want to blog. so then i start thinking about what the focus of my blog would be and i realize my interests are too vast to narrow it down to just one thing… probably the same problem i’m facing with choosing a major, or a career path.
writing is one thing that i do truly enjoy, and this little realization reminded me of one of my recent journal entries, about my tendency to quickly jump to obsession over something i’m interested in… books, bands, apps, websites you name it— i have a new obsession almost everyday. and so the cognitive birth of OODls began. obsession of the day plus “ls” to make it sound cool/standing for[insert clever acronym i haven’t thought of yet here]… “of the day” loosely translating to whenever i feel like it. so i figured i could cram all of my interests in here, allowing me to write, which makes me happy, and hopefully assisting me in figuring out a more defined version of my interests, so that by this time next year i’ll have a whole data base of exactly what i like, which can maybe assist me in figuring out the academic path i want to take, even potentially setting a career/just-life-in-general ambition to work towards. i mean it makes sense right? understand what you love- do what you love- live a long, prosperous, happy life?
even if it’s no help at all, i always love looking back on the thoughts of past me… so to future me reading this, i hope you enjoyed the description, and to the rest of the world (even if you’re represented by just one little person) i hope you find my interests interesting. (: